What Not To Wear

I'm spending a week at the South Carolina shore with a group of high school friends and I didn't have a thing to wear.

I swim more than the average person and I have plenty of swimwear. But as a triathlete, my swimming attire is a bit... clingy. I don't thing my high school buds need to see me in a speedo. I had no idea how hard it would be to find more appropriate clothing.

I wanted a "bathing suit". Maybe that term is dated, so I'd settle for a "swimsuit" or "swim trunks". Turns out, they're harder to find than you would think. I DID find plenty of "board shorts", but those aren't bathing suits. I'm sorry, but the shorts go down below your knees they're really not intended for swimming. I saw youth bathing suits, but I really don't want Spongebob on my shorts and I don't have a 22" waist.

I went to Big 5 and Sports Chalet. Macys, JCPenney and Nordstroms. They either only carried board shorts, or the wrong size swim trunks. Why is it so hard for a middle-aged man to find something he can swim in without making it look like he's trying to a frat boy?

I finally found a small selection of traditional swim trunks at Sport Connection and I picked up a pair of conservative green trunks. Why green? I'm embarrasss to say, I picked them to match my tattoo.